Year of the Snake

Okay! A promise to myself this year is to document more of my life. I have a feeling that when I'm old, I'm only going to have small portions of my life to show my kids about the person I was. At least it will be small portions in comparison to all the people who take a million photos of each instance in their lives. I think I need to find a happy medium somehow! Why not start up the whole blog again? Let's see how long this lasts for...

I've just caught up on all the rest I think I'm ever going to need since returning from my lovely Christmas holiday at home with my family and best friends in America. I had such a fantastic time with them all....it made everything a lot harder and put shit in perspective in my life. I was lucky enough to see my new baby nephew, Sheldon in Canada. I also got to see my 3 year old niece Abby...Life is a beautiful thing. They're both so fantastic and adorable, but they don't know who I am...at least Abby really doesn't yet. I realize I need to be around them more or the strange distant family I have grown up with will be something I just go along with. I'm not all about seeing aunts and uncles once every one or two years. That's not how family should be. I also need to learn how to speak french. The scariest bit of all of this is maybe not being able to communicate with the little ones...I only speak english, they only speak french. I've got to change that.

Another thing is...this is my last year in England. That is both terrifying and slightly exciting....The whole thing is going to be bittersweet as hell, but hey ho. Unless something super extraordinary happens like I win the lottery or something, I can't do anything about it. I'm just going to have to make the absolute most of this year with my friends.

Need to make the "UK Exodus Bucket List" innit.

Alright 2013! Lets have it! The year of the snake is MY year.

And we jump to August!!

Oh hello world!

I feel like I haven't written anything in forever...which is mostly true. I tend not to update things much anymore because either everything in my life is mundane orrrr boring and not worth telling. However, since my life is getting better bit by bit, I thought I'd enlighten the poor saps that still read this!! (Psst, that means you.)

I think where I left off before was that I had mentioned I'd be dressing for Phantom of the Opera and then Lion King right after. Phantom of the Opera was amaaaaaaazing! I was utterly crap at dressing at the beginning, but I got the hang of it a couple of weeks in. I met some absolutely fabulous people (and some incredibly crap people as well...-_-) and I really really really really enjoyed dressing the male ensemble! I had to wear all black, which is okay and just get on with the work as and when. I could catch up on my reading or have a chat with the actors that aren't on stage, etc. A brilliant job.

Brilliant as it was, I got a bit too attached to the cast though and when they had to leave I cried and cried...haha I'm such a baby :P They did give me presents though! I got a knitted mini bunting (which is super CUTE) , loads of flowers, chocolates, two bottles of wine, my own "Masquerade" masque, a fabulous necklace...I was truly spoiled by my boys and the wardrobe team. ^_^ I am so grateful!! xx

 

Phantom was gone before I knew it...so I donned my waistcoat and name badge and went back to Front of House. It was so so lovely working with all my mates again, but you know...once I had a taste of dressing everything just felt a bit different...Hm...But I did enjoy working in my home department again and wanted to make the best of the work before we went dark for 7 weeks whilst The Lion King was setting up in the theatre. 

One day I was asked to do some backstage work for Lion King by one of the backstage guys which involved an incredible amount of heavy lifting and pushing and climbing and all. I had SO MUCH FUN! And I felt super happy that I was even asked to do that sort of work despite the fact I'm a girl. I got to show off the strength that I don't think the other guys knew I had and I was also introduced to the Wardrobe Mistress! She was impressed with the fact I was pushing all the things around and asked if I would be interested in working for them while the Hippodrome was dark. Seriously, that couldn't have worked any better for me! I had one week of doing 10:30-6 and then literally sprinting off to the Hippodrome for a 7-10 shift. My god I was tired!!! ...but it was awesome.  :) 

The theatre then went dark and I could concentrate on what was going on in rehearsals for TLK. I was asked to do so much! I sewed, I ran around, I dressed the cast in rehearsal costumes, I labelled, I organized, I did LOADS and I loved every second of it. I actually felt like I belonged...like part of a team you know? I got to meet the cast from the very beginning and now I'm forming some pretty incredible friendships with them. I don't think I've ever met such a large group of talented and very humble people working for a company. And speaking of companies, DISNEY IS AN INCREDIBLE COMPANY TO WORK WITH!!! I had never felt so welcomed in my life! Everyone is so friendly and smile at everyone and is just like...wow!! Such a positive attitude! 

Say "Hello" to one of the dancers trying out his head for the show. Such a long face!

Now we're a month into rehearsals and everything is coming together so beautifully and even when I'm not at work, the cast noticed and ask where I was and why I wasn't around and stuff. Aw!! If you're coming to see TLK, you are in for an incredible treat. The costume is just...wow. Amazing...I'm so priviledged to be working in the Wardrobe department and the ladies in the department are all so amazingly lovely. I love my job right now. I love the people, I love the atmosphere, I love the responsiblity, I love EVERYTHING. I hope it stays like that. How I would love to do this for a living. :) 

Anyway, that's enough rambling, well done if you read all of that. I'm so happy. OH and I'm going to be moving in with Sioban on the 22nd into a gorgeous flat where we shall drink and be merry all the damn time. So so so so so so excited!! Ahhh!

Good things are happening, people. No, not good - Great! :D xx

Dressing dem in Costume, doe.

Hello! Happy May, guys! Oh man, I can't believe the month is actually almost gone. As if doe!

Good things have been starting to happen! One of the most important things is that I'm starting to get my confidence back again. I'm looking at things a lot more positively which is super great for my health and future career as such. My mates in and out of Bristol have been absolutely fantastic and have just been there for me! Totes proved that I wasn't as alone as I thought I was a few months ago. :D

In the beginning of April, I left TOAST. That may or may not be a terrible decision, but the whole job thing that they offered me what a teensy weensy bit of a piss take. I couldn't have just sat around for over two months waiting for the company to decide if they could actually take me on or not. That's was actually okay though. As much as I enjoyed what I was doing, I thought it was a good time for me to leave. After 6 months of commuting to Swansea to work for free does take it out of you. Kudos to the people who do that all the time - Seriously, doe.

Anyway, since I've left the company I've been called up loads by different agencies trying to get me jobs patterncutting around the country and such, but something in me wasn't too fussed if I got the job or not. Not the right kind of attitude, right? Just goes to show I don't really want that right now. Oh well! I've accepted that and that's fine. Maybe I'll hang up the Patternmaster for the time being!

So as you may or may not know, I work in a theatre part time as Front of House staff - which is an awesome job! I get to be around awesome people all the time and around awesome shows and beautiful sets and the venue is just stunning! Last month or so, I asked backstage if they needed help dressing costumes for any of the shows and the manager said that he would need me for the Lion King which is at the end of August. Um the LION KING, guys.

I get to deal with stuff like this!!!!:

You jeally?! Yep you should be!!! I've been amazed by the Lion King costumes ever since I saw it on Broadway when I was a little girl. But now 15 years later, I'll be able to be a part of it for 3 months. Ahhh, I cannot stress how happy and excited I am for this!! I mean, how creative are these costumes!?!?! Ohhhhhhhhhh guys!

So that's a thing! I was perfectly content with that and waiting until it was here, but last week the backstage manager sought me out at the beginning of my shift and asked if I would be available to do any dressing for the Phantom of the Opera.

You mean for stuff like this...?

Um YES!? So that's where I am at this point in my life. I'm dressing for Phantom of the Opera...that's an actual thing. I'm just amazed that just one little curious question landed me all this. Just goes to show that if you don't ask, you don't get, people. And it's not always what you know, but who you know. Admittedly, mentioning that I studied Fashion/Textile Design did make things easier, but just wow...

Today will only be my 3rd day dressing the PotO cast (male ensemble, if you're wondering!!) and I'm loving it so much already. It's hot and sweaty and really busy but I'm feeling super confident about this. Who knows what this could lead to in the future?! One step at a time, but I'm definitely progressing. 

And to my tutors in uni that said my designs were "too costumey" sometimes? LOOK AT ME NOW! Boo-freakin-yaaaaaaa!

Happy happy Holly. xx

The Season of Broken Hearts and Warm Ass Weather

Oh wow. About 3 months since I've last updizzled. Holly fail to the max, ya'll.

What's been happening...

-Been doing a lot at Toast...but been feeling neglected and less like part of a team. Bad.
-Been super poor. Also bad.
-Been dumped. Very bad.
-Been deprived of internet in my house. Super bad.
-Been feeling super sorry for myself and not knowing what to do with my life. UBER BAD.

But do not fear, good people! The weather is warm and I love Bristol and that's given me the motivation to sort myself out. I've got lovely friends and a wicked awesome mother who has passed down some amazing "I don't give a fuck" genes ;D I've allowed myself a week to feel sorry for myself and now it's time to buckle down and figure out what I want to do with my shiny new visa.

Shall I move off to London or Birmingham and be a proper fashiony drone oooooor stay in Bristol and enjoy being fancy can carefree and attempt to start a business with some carefully selected friends?! I may have to choose the former instead of the latter because I gots bills to pay!

Oh my, it does seem that the majority of my friends have been having the same problems as me though. Heartbreak, general confusion about life, being poor. Damn. Post uni life isn't that amazing though is it?

Alas, it's spring and I'm doing my own personal spring cleaning go get all them cobwebs out of my self conscious and all up out of my life. I've been sending out loads of CVs for a nice new pattern cutting job and I've already got a call back from a recruitment agency saying they're going to forward my CV to the company. Fingers crossed!!

A word of advice to my readers and friends - Shit gets real and ugly, but only the weak don't get used to it!! DEAL.

Time to be fearless and fancy free. ;D

Voice of Reason.

Call my mother today to ask her opinion on what I should choose:

great company that treats me extremely well
low paying career
basically no social life
leaving all my friends
leaving a place I finally call home
move to a city I'm not too fond of
become single again
be super lonely and scared in a new place

OR

continue to intern
continue to have work placement pay for my travel
gain valuable experience
have social life
have all my friends
work on portfolio to further my career in a higher paying job
still have a lovely boyfriend (at least I hope so)
stay in a city I love

After many tears and loads of thinking (and complaining), My mom said she couldn't tell me what to do and that she'd pray that the right answer will come along soon. I got off the phone with her thinking that I won't know for ages and ages, but after having chats with my Hippodrome work colleagues, I've got a general answer for what I should do.

"Holly, don't go to Swansea," said Andy today at work. Now Andy has always been absolutely lovely to me, such a lovely father figure in my life here in Bristol since he started working at the Hippodrome. After explaining to him what my options were, he thought all day about it and flat out told me not to take the job. He said to continue to intern and it makes sense. It's a win/win situation, really. The company saves money, I continue to slowly make money, I get to live in Bristol and I get experience all the same. I really needed someone like him to tell me what he thought would be the right decision and I'm super grateful that he took the time to think about my situation.

Who knows, that may be my mom's prayer and my questions answered, ey? Thank you Andy.

....

(and thank you to everyone else who took the time to listen to me whinge about it and tell me not to leave!) xx

Ticking time bomb.

Why hello there, blog! I haven't paid you much mind lately. Soz about that.

Well, well, well...what do I say? Where do I start? My work placement has been going extremely well. I've pattern cut several things already and that funnel raincoat came back. Of course I made mistakes with it, but still it was so lovely to see it made up in the right fabric and ting! Oh how proud I was! It's rather exciting seeing something that you've worked on going to the store!! Well I don't know if it will be dropped or not, but it's still so nice!

Another thing is, I'm so happy I don't need to toile up anything anymore, I just make the patterns and BOOM - Amanda the machinist makes it. Simply lush.

I've moved out of that wretched office, been juggling two jobs, sleeping very little and trying to sort out my current visa situation in the UK whilst still trying to maintain a social life and a relationship. When I lay it all out like that, it's actually quite alot...I haven't really realised the amount I do in a week and how little relaxation I get.

Everything seemed to be looking up and turning quite nice actually - my new house is quite nice, even though I have a small ass room...but it's cosy, bright and it's really growing on me. TOAST has made an offer for a job which is nice....but I'm still waiting for that visa. If I don't get that visa then I can't do anything and have to return home which would really be devastating. For the first time in the past few months, I'm actually cheering up and sorting my life out, but I can't make any long term plans until that decision letter is in my hands.

I can't really accept the job, I can't switch banks, I can get a new contract for my phone or my house until I'm certain I can stay. All of this is properly stressing me out as I'm sure you can imagine...

Another factor about the TOAST job is that I really wouldn't really be able to stay in Bristol because of how little the salary is. Oh Bristol...you're a city I love so much and that I honestly call home. I honestly don't know how moving to Swansea would make me feel...especially now that I've found out that other important bits of my life would basically disintegrate...regardless if I decide to move to Swansea, or not. There's a time limit on everything...I guess on happiness as well.

Why does real life have to be so difficult? Just when you think everything is lovely and good, something crazy comes out of nowhere and fucks everything up.

The real question is...do I move to Swansea, pursue a career in a profession that I've actually gone to uni for and I enjoy and become a work zombie for 2 grand less than I was expecting and have no social life outside of work, or stay in Bristol where eventually is going to go to shit. Do I enjoy what's left of the good times in Bristol and just...ah well. Too much to think about, and I'm not making any sense anymore.

Do I chose a job that was basically handed to me to further my career or do I just like being happy doing fuck all at a dead-end job with a lovely bloke...? I think the answer is staring me in the face but I do like being properly happy for once...

You see what position I'm in. Fucking decisions.

Grrrrr.

Hello people people!I just realized I didn’t update at all last week. What’s that all about? I was given a dress to trial wear (which is so lush, omg), I found out that I am a size 10/12 in dresses now, and I became violently ill Thursday –Friday and had to cancel my Sunday night Thanksgiving dinner because the illness didn’t give me any time to prepare anything.

I had mixed feelings about it, to be honest. I was quite happy not to cook because I have no kitchen of my own to feel happy cooking it. I was also very guilty because everyone had it in their diaries for ages. I felt a bit awk asking other people for their kitchens as well so I may as well do a summer Thanksgiving BBQ or just wait til I live in a better place.

Well good news, I was given something to make. Bad news, I feel as if I took way too long to finish it.

I was given a jacket to pattern cut, which I was so totally chuffed about, and I was way eager to get started. I was given the design at around 12:30/12:45 on Monday last week and I so wanted to skip lunch just to work on it. Can I just say how wonderful it felt to pattern cut again!? I feel a bit out of practice, not gonna lie, but it made me feel awesome to sort curves out and alter a seam here and there. Oh, sheet bliss.

I worked on it for ages, and then my boss told me not to forget to go home, lol. Time flew like whoa. I went home to bed, totally excited to go back to Swansea the next day. I pattern cut all Tuesday :D Had a mild freak out cos I forgot how to do something so simple regarding darts, but Jim, one of the other pattern cutters told me to chill down and relax lol I think that made me feel a bit too relaxed so I slowed down (which is a huuuuge thing for me to do cos I like working way fast, yo) and then went to meeting and toile fits during the second half of the day. So.I spent about 6 ½ hours pattern cutting. I thought I spent a lot more time on it, but my day was actually filled with other things.

Wednesday my mate Charlie came down to Bristol so we got up to some shenanigans in the evening. Saw my mate Anika and met their friend Dave and we all proceeded to drink…Mind you, I had just finished doing a double shift at work, but I was so up for going out and spending as much time with Charlie as possible and making sure she wasn’t having a shit time that I drank a bit too much and stayed up til 4:30am. …yes I know, not the best of my life choices, but in all fairness it was a fun night. In my inebriated state, I managed to take a shower, pick my outfit, book my tickets and sort my bag out before going to bed for an hour. I forced myself up, found myself to be quite drunk still, stumbled to the train station and passed out so hard on the train, the ticket dude couldn’t even wake me to ask for my ticket. :P whoops.

I trekked to Toast with really rubbery feeling legs and then tried to act as normal as possible, but I know that people could tell something was up. I was staring at my patterns for ages and doing very little to them, started sewing stuff up…but I made such mistakes and I felt ill and I had a headache and I didn’t eat lunch and I felt weak and I was just a mess. I managed to finish the majority of my jacket before heading back to Bristol. I took the pattern with me to fix the mistakes at home as well.I remembered it was actually Thanksgiving that day so I made chilli at Trout’s house and we had a quiet night playing on the computer and sorting his new iPhone out. I waited for my parents to call me to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving, but they didn’t until 2am…what an after thought. I felt SO HURT that they forgot about me on a day that’s supposed to be spent with family and such. Ah well…more of a reason not to move back home.

I wonder if they’re going to bother calling me on Christmas day. Hmph. Insulted much.

Anyway, I altered the collar that I screwed up and now it looks alright, but now I’ve noticed today that all my measurements are wrong and the jackets the wrong length. So much for showing them how “good” I am L

I’ve also had a case of the despressies again. I don’t honestly know what the hell is going on with me. Why can’t I just be happy for bloody one week straight!?!

Boo. Eh well I’m off to finish my jacket. Hopefully it doesn’t look completely shit. :/