And we jump to August!!

Oh hello world!

I feel like I haven't written anything in forever...which is mostly true. I tend not to update things much anymore because either everything in my life is mundane orrrr boring and not worth telling. However, since my life is getting better bit by bit, I thought I'd enlighten the poor saps that still read this!! (Psst, that means you.)

I think where I left off before was that I had mentioned I'd be dressing for Phantom of the Opera and then Lion King right after. Phantom of the Opera was amaaaaaaazing! I was utterly crap at dressing at the beginning, but I got the hang of it a couple of weeks in. I met some absolutely fabulous people (and some incredibly crap people as well...-_-) and I really really really really enjoyed dressing the male ensemble! I had to wear all black, which is okay and just get on with the work as and when. I could catch up on my reading or have a chat with the actors that aren't on stage, etc. A brilliant job.

Brilliant as it was, I got a bit too attached to the cast though and when they had to leave I cried and cried...haha I'm such a baby :P They did give me presents though! I got a knitted mini bunting (which is super CUTE) , loads of flowers, chocolates, two bottles of wine, my own "Masquerade" masque, a fabulous necklace...I was truly spoiled by my boys and the wardrobe team. ^_^ I am so grateful!! xx

 

Phantom was gone before I knew it...so I donned my waistcoat and name badge and went back to Front of House. It was so so lovely working with all my mates again, but you know...once I had a taste of dressing everything just felt a bit different...Hm...But I did enjoy working in my home department again and wanted to make the best of the work before we went dark for 7 weeks whilst The Lion King was setting up in the theatre. 

One day I was asked to do some backstage work for Lion King by one of the backstage guys which involved an incredible amount of heavy lifting and pushing and climbing and all. I had SO MUCH FUN! And I felt super happy that I was even asked to do that sort of work despite the fact I'm a girl. I got to show off the strength that I don't think the other guys knew I had and I was also introduced to the Wardrobe Mistress! She was impressed with the fact I was pushing all the things around and asked if I would be interested in working for them while the Hippodrome was dark. Seriously, that couldn't have worked any better for me! I had one week of doing 10:30-6 and then literally sprinting off to the Hippodrome for a 7-10 shift. My god I was tired!!! ...but it was awesome.  :) 

The theatre then went dark and I could concentrate on what was going on in rehearsals for TLK. I was asked to do so much! I sewed, I ran around, I dressed the cast in rehearsal costumes, I labelled, I organized, I did LOADS and I loved every second of it. I actually felt like I belonged...like part of a team you know? I got to meet the cast from the very beginning and now I'm forming some pretty incredible friendships with them. I don't think I've ever met such a large group of talented and very humble people working for a company. And speaking of companies, DISNEY IS AN INCREDIBLE COMPANY TO WORK WITH!!! I had never felt so welcomed in my life! Everyone is so friendly and smile at everyone and is just like...wow!! Such a positive attitude! 

Say "Hello" to one of the dancers trying out his head for the show. Such a long face!

Now we're a month into rehearsals and everything is coming together so beautifully and even when I'm not at work, the cast noticed and ask where I was and why I wasn't around and stuff. Aw!! If you're coming to see TLK, you are in for an incredible treat. The costume is just...wow. Amazing...I'm so priviledged to be working in the Wardrobe department and the ladies in the department are all so amazingly lovely. I love my job right now. I love the people, I love the atmosphere, I love the responsiblity, I love EVERYTHING. I hope it stays like that. How I would love to do this for a living. :) 

Anyway, that's enough rambling, well done if you read all of that. I'm so happy. OH and I'm going to be moving in with Sioban on the 22nd into a gorgeous flat where we shall drink and be merry all the damn time. So so so so so so excited!! Ahhh!

Good things are happening, people. No, not good - Great! :D xx

Dressing dem in Costume, doe.

Hello! Happy May, guys! Oh man, I can't believe the month is actually almost gone. As if doe!

Good things have been starting to happen! One of the most important things is that I'm starting to get my confidence back again. I'm looking at things a lot more positively which is super great for my health and future career as such. My mates in and out of Bristol have been absolutely fantastic and have just been there for me! Totes proved that I wasn't as alone as I thought I was a few months ago. :D

In the beginning of April, I left TOAST. That may or may not be a terrible decision, but the whole job thing that they offered me what a teensy weensy bit of a piss take. I couldn't have just sat around for over two months waiting for the company to decide if they could actually take me on or not. That's was actually okay though. As much as I enjoyed what I was doing, I thought it was a good time for me to leave. After 6 months of commuting to Swansea to work for free does take it out of you. Kudos to the people who do that all the time - Seriously, doe.

Anyway, since I've left the company I've been called up loads by different agencies trying to get me jobs patterncutting around the country and such, but something in me wasn't too fussed if I got the job or not. Not the right kind of attitude, right? Just goes to show I don't really want that right now. Oh well! I've accepted that and that's fine. Maybe I'll hang up the Patternmaster for the time being!

So as you may or may not know, I work in a theatre part time as Front of House staff - which is an awesome job! I get to be around awesome people all the time and around awesome shows and beautiful sets and the venue is just stunning! Last month or so, I asked backstage if they needed help dressing costumes for any of the shows and the manager said that he would need me for the Lion King which is at the end of August. Um the LION KING, guys.

I get to deal with stuff like this!!!!:

You jeally?! Yep you should be!!! I've been amazed by the Lion King costumes ever since I saw it on Broadway when I was a little girl. But now 15 years later, I'll be able to be a part of it for 3 months. Ahhh, I cannot stress how happy and excited I am for this!! I mean, how creative are these costumes!?!?! Ohhhhhhhhhh guys!

So that's a thing! I was perfectly content with that and waiting until it was here, but last week the backstage manager sought me out at the beginning of my shift and asked if I would be available to do any dressing for the Phantom of the Opera.

You mean for stuff like this...?

Um YES!? So that's where I am at this point in my life. I'm dressing for Phantom of the Opera...that's an actual thing. I'm just amazed that just one little curious question landed me all this. Just goes to show that if you don't ask, you don't get, people. And it's not always what you know, but who you know. Admittedly, mentioning that I studied Fashion/Textile Design did make things easier, but just wow...

Today will only be my 3rd day dressing the PotO cast (male ensemble, if you're wondering!!) and I'm loving it so much already. It's hot and sweaty and really busy but I'm feeling super confident about this. Who knows what this could lead to in the future?! One step at a time, but I'm definitely progressing. 

And to my tutors in uni that said my designs were "too costumey" sometimes? LOOK AT ME NOW! Boo-freakin-yaaaaaaa!

Happy happy Holly. xx

The Season of Broken Hearts and Warm Ass Weather

Oh wow. About 3 months since I've last updizzled. Holly fail to the max, ya'll.

What's been happening...

-Been doing a lot at Toast...but been feeling neglected and less like part of a team. Bad.
-Been super poor. Also bad.
-Been dumped. Very bad.
-Been deprived of internet in my house. Super bad.
-Been feeling super sorry for myself and not knowing what to do with my life. UBER BAD.

But do not fear, good people! The weather is warm and I love Bristol and that's given me the motivation to sort myself out. I've got lovely friends and a wicked awesome mother who has passed down some amazing "I don't give a fuck" genes ;D I've allowed myself a week to feel sorry for myself and now it's time to buckle down and figure out what I want to do with my shiny new visa.

Shall I move off to London or Birmingham and be a proper fashiony drone oooooor stay in Bristol and enjoy being fancy can carefree and attempt to start a business with some carefully selected friends?! I may have to choose the former instead of the latter because I gots bills to pay!

Oh my, it does seem that the majority of my friends have been having the same problems as me though. Heartbreak, general confusion about life, being poor. Damn. Post uni life isn't that amazing though is it?

Alas, it's spring and I'm doing my own personal spring cleaning go get all them cobwebs out of my self conscious and all up out of my life. I've been sending out loads of CVs for a nice new pattern cutting job and I've already got a call back from a recruitment agency saying they're going to forward my CV to the company. Fingers crossed!!

A word of advice to my readers and friends - Shit gets real and ugly, but only the weak don't get used to it!! DEAL.

Time to be fearless and fancy free. ;D

Voice of Reason.

Call my mother today to ask her opinion on what I should choose:

great company that treats me extremely well
low paying career
basically no social life
leaving all my friends
leaving a place I finally call home
move to a city I'm not too fond of
become single again
be super lonely and scared in a new place

OR

continue to intern
continue to have work placement pay for my travel
gain valuable experience
have social life
have all my friends
work on portfolio to further my career in a higher paying job
still have a lovely boyfriend (at least I hope so)
stay in a city I love

After many tears and loads of thinking (and complaining), My mom said she couldn't tell me what to do and that she'd pray that the right answer will come along soon. I got off the phone with her thinking that I won't know for ages and ages, but after having chats with my Hippodrome work colleagues, I've got a general answer for what I should do.

"Holly, don't go to Swansea," said Andy today at work. Now Andy has always been absolutely lovely to me, such a lovely father figure in my life here in Bristol since he started working at the Hippodrome. After explaining to him what my options were, he thought all day about it and flat out told me not to take the job. He said to continue to intern and it makes sense. It's a win/win situation, really. The company saves money, I continue to slowly make money, I get to live in Bristol and I get experience all the same. I really needed someone like him to tell me what he thought would be the right decision and I'm super grateful that he took the time to think about my situation.

Who knows, that may be my mom's prayer and my questions answered, ey? Thank you Andy.

....

(and thank you to everyone else who took the time to listen to me whinge about it and tell me not to leave!) xx

Ticking time bomb.

Why hello there, blog! I haven't paid you much mind lately. Soz about that.

Well, well, well...what do I say? Where do I start? My work placement has been going extremely well. I've pattern cut several things already and that funnel raincoat came back. Of course I made mistakes with it, but still it was so lovely to see it made up in the right fabric and ting! Oh how proud I was! It's rather exciting seeing something that you've worked on going to the store!! Well I don't know if it will be dropped or not, but it's still so nice!

Another thing is, I'm so happy I don't need to toile up anything anymore, I just make the patterns and BOOM - Amanda the machinist makes it. Simply lush.

I've moved out of that wretched office, been juggling two jobs, sleeping very little and trying to sort out my current visa situation in the UK whilst still trying to maintain a social life and a relationship. When I lay it all out like that, it's actually quite alot...I haven't really realised the amount I do in a week and how little relaxation I get.

Everything seemed to be looking up and turning quite nice actually - my new house is quite nice, even though I have a small ass room...but it's cosy, bright and it's really growing on me. TOAST has made an offer for a job which is nice....but I'm still waiting for that visa. If I don't get that visa then I can't do anything and have to return home which would really be devastating. For the first time in the past few months, I'm actually cheering up and sorting my life out, but I can't make any long term plans until that decision letter is in my hands.

I can't really accept the job, I can't switch banks, I can get a new contract for my phone or my house until I'm certain I can stay. All of this is properly stressing me out as I'm sure you can imagine...

Another factor about the TOAST job is that I really wouldn't really be able to stay in Bristol because of how little the salary is. Oh Bristol...you're a city I love so much and that I honestly call home. I honestly don't know how moving to Swansea would make me feel...especially now that I've found out that other important bits of my life would basically disintegrate...regardless if I decide to move to Swansea, or not. There's a time limit on everything...I guess on happiness as well.

Why does real life have to be so difficult? Just when you think everything is lovely and good, something crazy comes out of nowhere and fucks everything up.

The real question is...do I move to Swansea, pursue a career in a profession that I've actually gone to uni for and I enjoy and become a work zombie for 2 grand less than I was expecting and have no social life outside of work, or stay in Bristol where eventually is going to go to shit. Do I enjoy what's left of the good times in Bristol and just...ah well. Too much to think about, and I'm not making any sense anymore.

Do I chose a job that was basically handed to me to further my career or do I just like being happy doing fuck all at a dead-end job with a lovely bloke...? I think the answer is staring me in the face but I do like being properly happy for once...

You see what position I'm in. Fucking decisions.