What am I doing here?

Is my coming back to England just a waste of time? :/ I ask myself that a few times a day. On the plus side, I love being around my friends and love working in a theatre that pays minimum wage, but why does life seem so much harder after uni?

What has actually changed though besides the fact I'm not paying for fabric everyday and losing sleep over a stupid final collection? ..Nothing. I work about the same amount or even more than I did whilst at uni. I have a rad work placement where the company pays for my travel. Even though I always say I'm hungry, talk about food all the time and have a strange obsession with cheese, my clothes are starting to hang off of me. Everything's getting too big. Don't get me wrong, I do like having that lovely hourglass figure all of a sudden but it's happening to quickly, I'm quite concerned.

Rrr...I wish I had that security of family though. ..family in this country, I mean. I have loads of friends who always offer to have me round and stuff, but there's nothing quite like that comfort of going to your own home. At the end of uni, I was gutted that the majority of my Fashion/Textiles girls have all gone back home to live with their parents, but it's nice to know they have somewhere to go. I could have had that too, but I think I'm a bit too unhappy back home in NJ. I think I'm jealous..?

...Is it even worth me going for that graduate visa...?

I don't know where I'm going with this. :/ Blah blah. Pillow, take me now to a land of no worries for a few hours. /depressingrant